I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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