And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
