You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm too high and old for this...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
