i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
