My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
