My sheets look like a crime scene.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
ttyl tear gas
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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