So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
