I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
