Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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