i already hear my dad disowning me
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize