i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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