I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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