There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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