This girl is more easily done than said...
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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