if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize