it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
