I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize