Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize