I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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