Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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