oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Everything about him screamed your future.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
