Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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