Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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