sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize