I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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