yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
