I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize