I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
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