it's not cheating when I paid for it
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
