how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
