He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
