A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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