Umm I'm too high to move.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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