I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
