He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
