I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
