just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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