I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
