I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
