She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I had to cum in my sink.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
