everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
