Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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