it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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