That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
