I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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