I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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