I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Fuck appropriateness.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Randomize
