New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
