Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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