apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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