One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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