Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
