would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
