I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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