I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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