the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
