I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
