I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
