People in love make me want to vomit
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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