lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
