Swine flu. Run for my life!
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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