I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
