brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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